Its all Greek to me!
by Edwards Best Mate
Summary: This story is based after Breaking Dawn. The Cullens are going on holiday, but they dont know where... Jacob is in the story as well. Emmett and Rosalie have a series of evil plans to get rid of Jacob.
1. Going to wherever it is we are going

Edward's POV

As we got on the plane at Seattle Airport, Emmett dropped his bag of the side of the boarding stairs. He tried to grab it, missed, and fell of the steps onto the runway below. He got up to laughter from the rest of us, dusted himself down and jumped up to the exact step he had been on before.

"Oh, Emmett, you really are clumsy" Rosalie sighed. "Vampires aren't supposed to be clumsy."

"I have an idea," said Bella. "Lets castrate Emmett!"

"Or," I added, "We could cut his head off with a chainsaw"

"Yay! I wanna shred Emmett's head too!" Jasper added. Emmett started sulking in his chair.

I sat down in a chair next to Bella, who had Renesmee on her lap. The doors closed, and the plane took off.

"Where going?" asked Renesmee.

"I'm not sure" answered Bella.

"I know," Laughed Alice. "I see a place with lots of sun, and sea, and sand, and more sun, and shopping! Lots and lots and lots of shopping. And Jasper, you have to come with me."

"Oh NO!!" Groaned Jasper. "Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do." Answered Alice. "Or I'll crush your Beyonce CD."

"NO, not my Beyonce CD!!!!"

"Oh, shut up, you two." I said.

"Your coming as well now, Edward, or I'll drive your Volvo into the sea." Alice shot back.

"Alice, you weren't supposed to tell them we were taking the cars to…" Carlisle said before Esme interrupted him

"DON'T TELL THEM WHERE WE ARE GOING!!!"

Jacobs POV

I was really enjoying my holiday in Portugal, but unfortunately it was almost over. I was heading to the airport in a taxi when a disgusting smell caught my attention. _Vampires._ I didn't recognise the smell, so when I got to the airport I located the plane where the vampires where, and climbed up the luggage ramp into the luggage compartment. I found a suitcase, and climbed into it, not realising that it was pink and flowery until it was too late. I knew I had seen this suitcase before, but I wasn't sure where…

***************************************************************************

Most of the jokes are based on a story written by twilightismylife13579 that is not yet published. it will be called Cullen Confessions, and yes, i do have permission to use these jokes.


	2. Arriving in Greece

Emmett's POV

We were stopping in Portugal for a refuelling stop. I could smell something horrible but the others wouldn't listen to me. I was really annoyed because the others were all being mean by not listening. Still, anyway, the plane took off, and soon we landed at Athens Airport in Greece. GREECE! We were in Greece!

We went to the hotel and I opened my rucksack and got something out.

"Oh my gosh we are all going to die" said your Nan as she was eaten by a planet sized monster called Kevin.

"What the heck?" Edward said, using his annoying mind reading thing.

"Its my book called 'The day your Nan was eaten by a planet sized monster called Kevin'"

"Oh" Said Edward.

"What's it about?" asked Carlisle.

"The day your Nan gets eaten by a planet sized monster called Kevin."

"Really?" asked Jasper. He was being a bit slow today.

I opened my suitcase (a cool pink and flowery one) and…

Jacobs POV

The flight was bumpy, the journey off the plane to the hotel was bumpy, the stairs going up to the rooms were bumpy, and I expect they could have used the lifts, but they would probably have been bumpy as well.

The suitcase opened and Emmett Cullen stared down at me.

"The sock puppets are here!" he screamed.

"Well, it was a long journey, I had to do something!" I replied. Emmett was referring to the sock puppets I had made from his socks*

Emmett's POV

Jacob Black was in my suitcase. The sock puppets were in my suitcase. I was scared. _Very_ scared. _Very_ scared indeed…

* Refer to Cullen Confessions by Twilightismylife13579


	3. Lol, wolves cant swim

Emmett's POV

"Rosalie!! Jacob Black is in my suitcase! Help!" I yelled. "The sock puppets are here as well!"

"OK Emmett, I'm coming." She shouted at me.

So… why was Jacob in my suitcase? Why were the sock puppets in my suitcase?

"UNCLE JACOB!!!" Nessie screamed as she ran through the door and jumped into Jacob's arms.

"Nessie!" he said as he picked her up and hugged her. Rosalie, Bella and Edward followed her.

"So, Jacob. Why are you here?" asked Edward.

"Well, I smelled vampires on a plane so I followed them and it was you guys and now I'm here."

"Okay…"

"And on the plane I was bored so I turned some of the socks in this suitcase into sock puppets and played with them and for some reason Emmett is really freaked out by all this."

Well, so would you be if you found a werewolf and some sock puppets in your suitcase.

The Next Day

Jacob and Nessie were standing on the end of the pier. Me and Rosalie had an idea. An evil idea. Well, only mean to Jacob, but oh well. Its not as if anybody likes him, is it?

Rosalie POV

I went up to Jacob and asked him if I could play with Nessie and build sandcastles for a while. He agreed, luckily, and I took her up the beach to where Edward and Bella were sat. I winked at Emmett and he started the next bit of our plan.

Emmett POV

I ran at Jacob and pushed him and myself off the pier into the sea. Under the water, I saw him start to shake, and realised that he was going to phase. Lol, he would be a dog in the sea. A dog-fish. He phased and then discovered that wolves cant swim. Hahahaha!!!! This holiday was going to be great.


	4. You broke my pretty castle!

Nessie POV

Aunty Rose took me away from Uncle Jacob to Momma and Daddy, Aunty Alice and Uncle Jasper, and then they all sat down and started to dig a big hole.

"Momma, what doing?" I asked.

"We're making you a sandcastle, Nessie. A big sandcastle, just for you."

Jacob POV

Stupid, bloodsucking _Leech_! I can't swim as a wolf, but I'm too angry to phase back! Oh no, this is not good. Emmett then swam back towards me. Oh CRAP.

Alice POV

We had finished the sandcastle for Nessie in about half a minute. It was decorated with seashells, and seaweed, and was big enough for Nessie to go in through the door and sit in.

Suddenly I saw the future sandcastle disappear along with everything else.

"RUN!! Bella, take Nessie out of the castle NOW!!" I screamed.

Emmett POV

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This was really fun. I chased Jacob around the bottom of the sea for a while, and then out of the water onto the beach. We ran up the beach and then suddenly we were surrounded by sand, seaweed and shells falling around us. Whoops. Jacob shook his fur out and soaked everyone, and then phased back. If the locals on the beach hadn't run when a horse sized wolf came out of the sea, they did now when it changed into a huge naked Native American guy.

"Bad Uncle Jacob! You broke my pretty castle!" said Nessie.

"Yeah," I said. "Jacob broke her castle! Get him!" I turned and ran after Jacob, along with Rose, Jasper, Edward and Alice.

"Don't hurt my Jacob!" Nessie called after us as we ran back into the sea.

_Don't worry, Nessie _I thought._ We won't. much._


End file.
